A Tiny Spark To Set It Off

(Source: drugsinmyhead, via jacquelinekickedacorpse)

(via penishole)

memewhore:

conversationparade:

[step 1] open your mouth as wide as possible. make sure to stick out your tongue as far as you can, too, since kisses are like 90% that thing

[step 2] find someone to kiss. you will know they want to kiss because their tongue will also be extended at full length

[step 3] move in for the kill

Anybody wanna practice wit me?

(via weasleyandpotter)

Perfect 

(via weasleyandpotter)

(Source: pleasedonttouchthat, via dancingwithnoshoeson)

emilythesmelly:

The Defibrillator Toaster

My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”

“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”

He’s bread, Jim.

Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M

If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 

JESUS CRUST.

JAM IT!

“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

reblogging for the story

(Source: secretsbest, via hylianprincess)

(Source: ttimeturner, via runningheadlong)

fuckthedemonsout:

he does this at home too

(Source: sorryyourenotaloser, via imakedirtylove)

imakedirtylove:

How drunk was I last night? #wokeupnexttothis (Taken with instagram)

imakedirtylove:

Shhh! DO NOT RT/ReBlog THIS! #BeDirty (Taken with instagram)